Asbestos (Dis)Honored
… Inducted Into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Shame
You’ve heard of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, no doubt. But you probably never heard of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Shame. (Probably not, since we’re making it up right before your very eyes.)
This Hall has nothing to do with music, though there are certainly some rock ‘n’ roll acts which might be unanimous choices for a hall of shame (Nickelback and Ace of Base spring readily to mind).
No, this is a Hall of Shame specifically for rocks, and for rolls.
Some of the most recent inductees on the roll side include an Irish roll called blaa (possibly because of its name), a New England favorite called bulkie (possibly because of what eating it makes you), and rolling a four when you were going for a Yahtzee in ones, forcing you to lose 50 key points.
But on the rock side of the Hall of Shame, especially since cement was ruled an “aggregate” and deemed ineligible, there is really only one prominent inductee: ASBESTOS.
Asbestos, is, in fact, all top twenty of the most shameful rocks on the rock side of the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame.
This would have been unthinkable a century ago. That’s because, a hundred years ago, asbestos was considered a downright heroic rock. Because of its flame-retardant properties, asbestos was featured in everything from building materials to electric blankets to the pantheon of comic book heroes.
(Yes, Asbestos Man was a comic book hero. This we are NOT making up.)
Later, it was discovered that asbestos is the leading cause of some forms of incurable lung cancer, including mesothelioma and (no surprise) asbestosis. Catch those diseases, and it’s time to get your affairs in order.
That’s because, when asbestos disintegrates, it breaks up into little microscopic shards o’ death which, after prolonged exposure, embed themselves irremovably from your lungs and make breathing increasingly difficult, and eventually impossible.
As a result of these findings, a few developments developed:
- The federal government tried to ban asbestos products from the United States. It’s still illegal to manufacture stuff with the shameful rock, but after years of lobbying and failed government efforts, it’s still legal to import asbestos-laden materials, so tons of it arrive here every year.
- People stopped smoking in bed as much as they did a century ago, so the market for asbestos-laden blankets faded away.
- Other comic book heroes became popular, and Asbestos Man became a thing of the past.
But it’s a shameful fact that this potentially deadly rock is still all around us, in the aforementioned building materials (ceiling tiles, pipe insulation, floor and wall materials), as well as in some surprising places like faux jewelry and even some kids’ toys.
Perhaps the worst asbestos-containing product, and maybe the most surprising, is powdered makeup. If your makeup includes talcum, get rid of it! Talcum is probably the 21st most shameful rock, because it’s mined right next to asbestos, and they can’t help but scoop up both together.
Asbestos isn’t dangerous in its original, manufactured form. It’s when the shameful stuff is disturbed, such as by a flood in the basement or that time your teenage daughter threw her faux jewelry into the fireplace because she was mad at the boy who gave it to her, that’s when it breaks into those bad shards.
So powdered makeup is the worst! The stuff is in powdered form… it’s already “disturbed!”
You can’t see airborne asbestos particles, which makes the stuff even more shameful. But if you think you might have a problem with asbestos contamination, we can refer you to a top-notch testing company, and if bad results come back, we can make your air 100% asbestos free. There’s no shame in getting your place tested. But if there’s a problem, and you don’t do something about it, well, that IS a shame.
