April Fools post :)

Asbestos Is Near You, All Of The Time

… In Places You Wouldn’t Expect, And In Rhyme

As April is drawing quite near to its end,

The April Fools thing is ‘bout over, my friend.

So don’t be a fool about something profound

Like the ugly asbestos that’s still all around.

 

Finally, after three decades of dumb,

The EPA’s trying to ban the stuff.  Yum!

They banned it already, way back in the ‘80s,

But soon overturned the ban. Damn them to Hades!

 

And even though production’s banned in the U.S.,

It’s legal to import this carcinogious mess,

So import it they do!  ‘Cause it’s cheaper to make

Many things with asbestos, for profit’s pure sake.

 

So you find it in all sorts of weird places,

Like makeup!  You might have asbestos faces!

Anything wherein “talc” is included

Could have asbestos.  Don’t be deluded.

 

Building materials are probably first

On a list of such products, maybe the worst.

Your wallboards, your floor tiles, your pipe insulation

Could have asbestos, anywhere in the nation.

 

And that’s not too dangerous, long as the stuff

Is kept undisturbed.  But lo, sure enough,

All it takes is a bad “DIY,”

And BOOM, airborne asbestos!  And you die!

 

(Okay, you might not die right away,

Or even at all, but you know what they say:

“Better safe than sorry,” of course,

So abatement is better, ‘cause it could be much worse.)

 

“What’s the big deal?” you might cleverly query;

Well, airborne asbestos is deadly. Be wary.

If, over time, enough you inhale,

Asbestos shards in your lungs do impale…

 

… And that could mean quite a harsh diagnosis,

Of mesothelioma, or asbestosis.

For these types of cancer there isn’t a cure,

And that’s why we like it when cases are fewer.

 

From cheap fashion jewelry, the kind teens enjoy,

To makeup, to drywall, to some vintage toys,

Asbestos is there with us, every day,

And it will be years ere the threat’s gone away.

 

So get your place tested.  Don’t take a chance,

With cancer, or else with the devil you’ll dance!

(Okay, that last part’s a tad bit dramatic,

But: Poetic License!  Don’t give me no static.)

 

 

We hope you’ve enjoyed this poetic attempt to present a very serious threat in a light-hearted manner.  You might be tempted to use this in your next open-mic rap routine, and please go ahead… but remember that there’s nothing the least bit amusing about ugly asbestos.  PLEASE, if you have any doubts about a possible asbestos problem, get your place tested.  You know what they say: Better safe than sorry!