Invisible? Yep, That’s Right. You Can NOT See Asbestos
… But It Can Still Kill You If You Inhale Much Of It
The Invisible Man was hanging out in a haunted house the other day, waiting to help Scooby and the Gang catch some bad guys, when he ran into Casper (the friendly ghost).
“Hey,” he goes, “How’s it driftin,’ Casp? I didn’t know you were haunting this place.”
“Yeah, I just dropped by to visit a little with the resident ghosts, Mr. and Mrs. Oblivious. They used to live here.”
“Gotcha,” goes Mr. I. “Now, they’re still staying here… but not living here, right?”
“Bingo,” goes Casper.
The two friends shared a sad little chuckle.
“What moved the Obliviouses into our unseen world?” asked The Invisible Man.
“Well, they had a little fire in the attic, like, 15 or 20 years ago.”
“What were they doing in the attic?”
“Oh, they weren’t up there. They were next door, playing cards with the Amiables. All of a sudden, Mrs. A goes, is that smoke coming out of those upstairs windows? And the Obliviouses skedaddled over and, sure enough, their attic was on fire.”
“So they didn’t burn to death.”
“Oh, Heavens no,” goes Casp. “But they lost a lot of stored clothes, including Mrs. O’s old wedding dress, and their entire collection of Three’s Company graphic novels and action figures, as well as their Richard Simmons commemorative dishes and flatwear.”
“So what got ‘em? Smoke inhalation?”
“Well, not really. They just boarded up the attic – Mr. O said it was just too expensive to do any repairs – and wouldn’t you know it? They both contracted mesothelioma lung cancer. Just passed away – well, not AWAY away – about a week ago.”
“The heck you say!”
“So I’m just over here trying to cheer them up a bit. You know, doing the friendly ghost thing. I could’ve warned them… they assumed that, since they couldn’t see it, they didn’t have deadly cancer-causing asbestos in their air. But that fire released a ton of it, they inhaled it for months and years, and there you go.”
“Shcooby DOOO!” said Scooby, announcing the Gang’s arrival.
“Well, that’s my cue,” goes Mr. I. “Gotta jet. But talk about oblivious! Everyone knows you can’t see asbestos in the air. It’s microscopic.”
“Right!” goes Casper. “You and I are invisible ourselves, and even WE can’t see asbestos in the air!”
“If only they’d have had their property tested after the fire,” Mr. I goes, on his way to the front room. “They would’ve known about the problem, and they would’ve been able to have Asbestos Abatement, Inc. fix their air with their amazingly efficient and surprisingly affordable state-of-the-art equipment and techniques! The Obliviouses would still be here!”
“Well,” Casper concluded, “They still are! But now, like asbestos, and like you and me, they’re floating around in the air, totally invisible.”
“And they won’t be playing cards with the Amiables any time soon!”
Take a tip from your invisible friends: Have your property professionally tested, and eliminate any asbestos problem you might have incurred following a broken pipe, a house fire (even a small one), or a DIY project gone bad. It costs less than you think to have air you can safely breathe!